5 Ways to Develop Your Own Convictions

  So, I told you all when I posted my 'list' that I was going to go over some of the things on the list and explain to you why I stand where I stand. But after some thought, I decided that it doesn't really matter why I stand where I stand. The important thing is . . . do you know why you stand where you stand?
   If there were things on my list that you'd really like to hear my thoughts on, go ahead and mention it in the comments, and I'll be sure to share with you all, but for now, I'd like to focus on you.
     Obviously, if you're going to be getting married, you should have a list of convictions in mind BEFORE you start dating . . . or even BEFORE you meet someone who could be an option. Because, if you wait to decide what is important to you till AFTER you've met someone, then you'll automatically make your list of requirements based off of that person, instead of the Scripture.
 
     Marriage aside, we should know what we believe and why. I've spent time working with other believers in a variety of ministries, and it seems that everywhere I go, there are godly, committed believers who have different convictions than I do. Why? Are they sinning, or am I being legalistic? Or is something a sin for one and not for another? I remember one summer working with a godly girl who disagreed with me on pretty much EVERYTHING, and we enjoyed some great conversations as we discussed our differences. If I didn't know why I stand where I stand, it would have ruined me. I would have come away confused, disoriented, and questioning everything I believe. As it was, it simply strengthened my convictions. The key, is to know WHY you believe.

 So, how do you develop your own convictions? Here are six ways I find to be extremely helpful in developing convictions that you can stand by.

 1.  What Does the Bible Say? When something is clearly stated in the Bible, follow it. When it says 'Honor thy father and thy mother,' you don't have to stress over whether or not to honor your parents because God made it clear. There are a LOT of things that the Bible makes clear. When it says in 2 Corinthians 6:14 "Be ye NOT unequally yoked together with un-believers . . ." We don't have to stress over whether it's okay to date an unsaved person, because the Bible makes it clear that it's NOT okay. Mathew 5:32 says, "And whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery. . ." So, we don't have to debate whether it's okay to marry a divorced person because the Bible makes it clear that it's adultery.
   What about the areas that the Bible doesn't give specifics? Like music. The Bible does NOT say . . . "Thou shalt not listen to CCM." However, even in these areas where the Bible doesn't have a clear cut line, it DOES have clear cut principles. Search the Scriptures for principles. This is where a lot of confusion comes in, because people can interpret principles in different ways. But the Scripture has basic principles for everything. Which leads to point two.

  2. Choose Whatever Gives God the Most Glory. Biblical principles can be defined in different ways, but we should always choose the path that gives God the most glory. Our lives are short, 'but a vapor', James says, and EVERYTHING we do, in word or deed should bring glory to God. We're commanded to do ALL for the glory of God. (1 Corinthians 10:31) Something I find disturbing when I hear people discussing things like dress, music, language, etc, is how they often ask . . . "What's wrong with this thing?" When that's not really the point. The point is to bring ALL glory to God. We should be asking ourselves . . . "How can I glorify God the most through this?" We get so caught up in our rights, and what makes us look popular, and fit in, that we miss the point. We're not here to fit in. We're here to glorify God. If dressing a certain way to fit in is simply to fit in, then it's not really for God's glory, and we're commanded to do ALL for HIS glory. It's not about us, and what makes us feel good, it's ALL about HIM, and how we can best glorify HIM.

  3. As MUCH as Possible, Don't Offend Other Believers. We're commanded to, as much as possible, "to live peaceably with ALL men." (Romans 12:18) There are things that might not seem "wrong" to you, but if they're causing problems for other Christians, then it's probably not glorifying God. God wants us to 'keep the peace' so too speak, so if you're offending other believers, then you're probably not glorifying God.

 4. Don't Follow the Christians Who Are Following the World. My dad talked to some missionaries who were away for four years, then back to furlough, then away for four years, then back in the States. And they said that every time they came back, they were shocked at how the church had slipped. The church today, is doing what the world did ten years ago. The church today, is embracing the things that they preached against twenty years ago. Why? Are we chasing the world? The truth is, the committed believer, won't follow the world, but when the less committed Christian goes towards the world, then the committed Christian, can follow the worldly Christians. We don't look at the world and say we want to do what they do, but we look at worldly Christians, and BECAUSE they're a Christian, we assume whatever they do is okay. Because we don't want to believe that a fellow Christian is sinning. When in fact, we Christians do sin, but we don't have to follow other Christians sin. It's easy to look at another believer and question what they're doing, but remember, we're NOT all at the same level of knowledge. If you've had a godly home all your life, and godly grandparents who've been glorifying God for generations, you can't expect yourself to have the same convictions as someone who is a first-generation Christian, and saved from a worldly life. We need to be patient with new believers, and gracious, but at the same time, we don't have to change our convictions to fit theirs.

5. Prayer. James 1:5 says that if we lack wisdom, we're to ask! God doesn't want us to be confused, and He WILL give wisdom. He WILL give understanding. Proverbs talks about seeking wisdom and understanding. It IS important to seek wisdom.


Colossians 3:23 And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;

1 Corinthians 10:31 Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.

Stop Wasting Your Time Waiting for Mr. Right . . .

  I had a conversation with a young woman the other day who told me that she didn't think she wanted to commit to doing something because she might get married in the next year. The thing was, she didn't have any prospects. She didn't even KNOW any young men that were options. Yet, she was turning down an amazing opportunity, for the possibility that a guy MIGHT show up.

     A year ago, I committed to doing a convention this spring. Had I hesitated, because I didn't know where I would be a year from then, I wouldn't be doing it next month.

   Am I saying to forget about getting married and forge ahead into opportunities and dreams? NO! I'm saying, don't waste the years that God has given you as a single adult holding out on other opportunities that God gives you, while waiting for something that God may not have for you for many years.

 1 Corinthians 7 says, "But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord: But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife. There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband."

  Singleness is NOT a curse! I've heard many young people moaning about how they're waiting for the right one to come along, and wasting time doing it! If you're single, don't waste it! God doesn't give you singleness to waste on waiting for someone. Instead, we ought to use our single years to wait on God. Like the verses above, the unmarried can serve God in a unique way because they don't have to focus on serving a spouse.

Is it wrong to hope and dream of one day getting married? Absolutely not. Marriage is a wonderful thing that God has designed! But God designed it for a time, and if it's not that time of your life yet, then don't waste the single years God has given you.

  My challenge to you? Use your time for HIM. Forge ahead into serving Him until He gives you a different direction, and don't put off serving Him till you find a spouse. We don't know the future, but we know who holds our future. Trust God's timing, and enjoy the adventure of singleness! Enjoy these years where you can serve God with no distractions. These years aren't a curse from God because we're not 'good enough' to be married, or anything like that. These years are a gift. A gift to be used wisely.

On another note, I had an AWESOME birthday with my sisters, family, and friends!

I took my oldest three nephews skating the other day and had some fun playing hockey.

Topic - Weddings

Four of my older siblings are married, and another one is 'in the process'. With every one, there ends up being months of talking before hand about relationships and weddings.

    With all the wedding talk around the house, it makes a person do some serious thinking about relationships. And since this is March, and I usually try to share some personal things in my birthday month to let everyone get to know me a bit better, I've decided to share a list with you.
    I hesitate to share it, since I change it almost every year, and this is by no means a complete list of questions, but this is my personal list of questions to ask a guy before getting engaged. Some of them are more 'get-to-know-you' type questions, while others are MUST haves, like salvation testimony.

  Now some people look at this list and are like . . ."Wow! You won't marry a guy if he doesn't agree with you on ALL this stuff?" And that is NOT what this list is about. Some of these things are convictions that are MUST haves, but some of them are preferences. When considering a marriage partner, preferences are just that, preferences, and can be changed, but convictions, are on a whole different level.

  When it boils down to it, there are really only five things I would HAVE to know about a guy. 1. Is he a Christian. 2. Does he have good character. 3. Does he have sound doctrine. 4. Do our personalities match. i.e. Could we get a long. (Some people's personalities just don't mix with others.) and 5. Do his basic music, version, etc. convictions work with mine?
  That being said, here is my BIG list. (And keep in mind, these are NOT just questions for a guy! We girls should have answers to these as well.)


1. When did you get saved? Your Salvation testimony?

2. Do you attend church regularly? What about midweek services? What are your plans for after you’re married? Will you take your family consistently?


3. What are you reading in your devotions? How often do you do devotions?


4. What Bible version do you use? Why do you use it and not another one?

5. What kinds of music do you like to listen to? Rock, Country, Classical, etc.? Why or why not?

6. What are your beliefs on eternal security?

7. Are you a Calvinist? Armenian? Other?

8. Have you been baptized? When? Why?


9. What ministries are you currently involved with?

10. What do you feel God’s calling is for your life?

11. What jobs do you picture yourself pursuing? Career dreams?


12. What are your passions in life? (Hobbies, evangelism, cars, hunting, preaching, body building, etc.)


13. What are your beliefs on alcohol, or wine? Would you want any alcoholic beverages in your home?

14. Have you ever done drugs? Smoked?

15. How do you feel about TV’s in a home?

16. Are you on Facebook, Twitter, or any social networks or chat rooms? Why or Why not?

17. What are your beliefs on having kids? Abortion? Birth control?


18. Do you want to homeschool your children?

19. What are your beliefs on women working?


20. Using Biblical principles to back you up, how do you believe a godly woman should dress? Pants? Skirts?

22. What do you believe the wife’s role in the home should be?

23. In your mind, what do you see a relationship with her looking like? Timeline?

24. Have you ever had a serious girl-friend before?

26. Are you in debt? Why or why not? Would you go in debt over a house?

27. Do you tithe regularly?

28. What political party do you vote with? Did you vote in the last election? Why or why not?


29. How is your relationship with your parents?

30. How is your relationship with your siblings?


31. In the last ten years, have you rebelled against your parents in any area? If so what area?

32. Do you think a couple should hold hands or share other special touches before the wedding?

33. How’s your prayer life?


34. Do you have a prayer list?

35. Do you do much Bible memorization?


36. What is one of your biggest spiritual struggles?

37. Do you believe in Creation?


38. What things make you mad?

39. Do you play any video or computer games? If so how often?


40. What do you do in your free time?

41. Do you use Gospel tracts much? If so which ones are your favorites? Which ones don’t you like?


42. When’s the last time you shared the gospel with someone in person?

43. How much time do you spend on the computer in an average day?


44. How do you feel about Christian’s dancing? Using Scripture, explain why you’re for or against it?

45. When someone points something out in your life that they’re concerned about, what is your response?


46. What makes you think that she is the right one?

47. How much have you prayed about her? And how many other people do you have praying for you?


48. How do you see her helping your ministry grow?

49. What are your beliefs on celebrating Christmas or other holidays?


50. Are you holding any bitterness or grudges towards anyone? If so, explain.


52. Are you ready to be the leader of a home? To love a wife, to raise a family, to be a wise leader, and most importantly, to take care of their spiritual needs?

53. Have you ever been fired from a job? If so why?


54. Do you know what your spiritual gift is? If so what is it?

55. What is your love language?

56. If things were to work out with her, do you have your parents, and pastor’s approval?

57. Do you use any slang or swear words?

58. Have you ever had to stand alone on an issue that was important to you?

59. What are your beliefs on disciplining children?

60. Do you take responsibility for your mistakes, or do you run from your problems?

61. What are your strongest character traits?

62. What character traits do you struggle with the most?

63. What are your beliefs on divorce?

64. What are your favorite movies? What movie standards do you have?

65. When people describe you, do they refer to you as a hard worker?

66. Do you respect your authority’s decision?

68. Are you morally pure?

69. Have you ever had an issue with pornography? How did you deal with it? / How are you dealing with it? What actions are you taking to protect yourself?

70. Do you speed?

71. Do you ever use playing cards? Why or why not?

72. How do you feel about gambling?

73. Have you ever been in trouble with the law? In jail?

74. Are you a picky eater? What don’t you like? Do you have food allergies?

76. Are you into sports? Cars?

77. Do you carry concealed?

78. Do you want a house pet?

79. Do you read much? What kind of books do you like?

80. How do you feel about your wife having a home business?

81. What levels of education have you had?

82. Who are your best friends? Who influences you the most?

83. Who are some of your favorite preachers?

84. Are you pre-trib, post-trib, or mid-trib? Other?

85. Do you support Israel?

86. How do you feel about tattoos? Body piercings? Dangling earrings? Multiple earrings? Make-up?

87. How do you feel about haircuts? Long hair? Short hair? For guys or girls?

88. Do you go to the movies? How do you feel about theaters?

89. Are you a spender or a saver? Are you described as frugal?

91. What have you learned from past relationships?

92. What is your greatest fear about marriage?

93. What baggage would you be bringing into the relationship?

94. What are your texting habits?

95. What kind of medical history have you had?


How is this going to help you get to know me better? Well, over the next couple of weeks, I'm going to take a few of the points and share with you why I believe what I believe. I'm not sure yet which points I'm going to expound on, so if you read one of the questions and want to know what I think about it, mention it in the comments, and maybe I'll share on it.

And I had to add this picture from one of my brother's weddings. One of my favorite wedding pictures that I've been in!

ND Convention

I had a WONDERFUL time at the ND homeschool convention! A huge thank you to my sisters for all their help, and to all the AMAZING people who stopped by and made the convention a million times better for me!

Part of the reason my sisters came with me, is because one of my sisters will be getting married this year. It was a great 'sisters' trip' and it reminded me just how special sisters are! If you have sisters, take the time to appreciate them. You have no idea how long you'll have them for.