Why She's Glad She Didn't Flirt

  I had the awesome privilege of spending a couple of days with a married friend of mine that I hadn’t had much contact with since she’d married, and we talked a lot about a lot of things, including her relationship. I’d like to share her story, and the lessons we can draw from it.

     She met this guy when she was eleven, and liked him. For years, she battled with a crush towards this guy, and all the doubts that come with a crush. Does he know I exist? Would he ever consider me? Will I ever be good enough for him?
        The natural thing to do in a case like this, is to want to make sure the guy knows you exist. We don’t call it flirting typically, but in a sense, that’s what it is. We make ourselves known to him. We might not bat our eye-lashes or giggle excessively, but we behave in a way that will draw his attention to ourselves. We subtly place ourselves in conversations just to ensure that he can’t miss us. We find excuses to text him, to end up sitting by him, to hold conversations near him, in the hopes that he’ll overhear and get to know us.
       But my friend, she didn’t do these natural things. Instead, she took her natural desires, and channeled them in the right direction. She prayed for him, she sought God, and she strove to become a godly woman that a man like him would want. She didn’t know if he would ever look at her, but she knew that she wanted what was best for him, and she asked God to guide him. She knew she wanted to marry a man with character like him, so she strove to become the kind of woman that a godly man would want.
        Did she want him to notice her? Absolutely, but she knew that if she tried to make sure he knew she was there, and he decided to go for her, then she’d always wonder if she’d been the one to win him. But by seeking God instead of this guy’s attention, she knew that if he ever went for her, it would be God. She trusted God so much, that she was willing to ignore any natural desires to encourage a relationship, and to believe that if it was God’s will, He would make it happen, and if it wasn’t, she wanted to be close enough to God that she’d be content with that.
       Today, she’s happily married to that man and she knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that it was God’s will. She trusted God enough to leave it completely in His hands, and He blessed it.
         Her husband told her later that one of the reasons he noticed her, was because she wasn’t a flirt. He noticed that she wasn’t seeking attention from guys, or trying to make him notice her, and he knew, that if she wasn’t flirting with guys now, then she wouldn’t be flirting with men after they were married. He knew that if a young woman is constantly seeking the company of young men, then when she’s a married woman, she’s going to be seeking the attention of other men.
     Today, they have a Christ-centered, God-honoring, and love-filled relationship. It’s not about them, it’s all about glorifying God, and it shows.

After seeing the fruit of her patience and seeing how God blessed her actions, I made a list of a few things we can learn from her relationship.

1. Trust God. We don’t see it this way normally, but when we strive to get a guy’s attention, we’re really saying that we don’t trust God to do it for us. If a man is attracted to you because of something you do to get his attention, then you probably don’t want him. Because there will always be a woman who can flirt better than you. If you win him with your own actions, other woman will be able to distract him later. Let God be the one to convince your future husband to notice you.

2. Use your natural God-given female desires and attractions to drive you towards God. When you’re tempted to dress a certain way to please a guy, or talk a certain way, or behave a certain way, channel those towards God. Dress, talk, and act in such a way to please God. We are the bride of Christ, and as His bride, there is no greater joy, than to live in such a way to please and bring pleasure to God.

3. Look for a man that doesn’t flirt with other girls. If you see a guy who’s always at the center of a group of girls, or always seems to be visiting with girls, remember that he’ll probably be talking with other women, and be the center of other women’s attention after he’s married as well.

4. Be patient. Maybe, the reason God hasn’t brought a man into your life yet, is because you’re not ready, or maybe, the man God has for you is going through something that God knows will make him a better husband and spiritual leader. Maybe by making you wait, God is making your future much better. Do you trust His timing?

5. A truly lovely marriage, is worth waiting for. Yes, there are lots of men you could marry, and if you’re both Christians, you can make it work, but waiting for God’s BEST for you, is worth the wait. If my friend had flirted with this guy, and won him herself, or scared him away, and ended up with someone else, she wouldn’t be enjoying the fruit of a godly marriage. And I know she’d say this over and over, “It’s worth the wait.”

Freedom's Captive - Coming Soon

 I've mentioned multiple times that I'm working on a new book . . . well, truthfully, I'm working on several new books . . . but only one of them is going to be published in the near future.
    It's my historical fiction book, and my first book with an official flashback, and prologue. Hopefully, it'll be released in early March in time for the North Dakota Homeschool Convention where I'll be doing a workshop.
   So, without further ado, I present to you, Freedom's Captive.

A father’s debt . . .

    A brother’s failure . . . 

        And the wrong sister . . .

     Lord DeWilt already had everything. Everything but his name. And he’s back for that. On the run, and fighting painful memories, James Wakefield doesn’t know where to turn. Is it possible that freedom can offer peace?

     George Wakefield knows the life of cultured England, but in the wilderness of the Americas, finding answers to DeWilt’s pursuit seems impossible.

       Can years of deceit and pain bring the Wakefield brothers together? Or will it just distance them more? Can they find freedom in Christ while captives? Can God’s freedom shine in even the darkest of nights? 

Can two brothers be united after years of betrayal?

2019 Firsts.

So, I wanted to do a brief re-cap of 2019, but I do a lot of the same things every year and didn't want to bore you with redundant year end posts . . . So, instead, I've put together a list of 19 things I did for the first time in 2019.

1. Bought Furniture.

I bought this chair for my room.

2. Ate Sushi . . . Okay, so I didn't like go-out-for-sushi, but Sam's Club was giving sushi samples by their meat department when I was there one day and I've always wanted to try it! So, if just a sample counts, I ate sushi. And yes, I liked it!!

3. I was summoned for jury duty. I'd have loved the experience of actually serving on the jury, but unfortunately, both of the days that I'd have had to go in, I was out of state and didn't have to go in. :(

4. Went to the Ark!

5. Went to Ontario. With practically living on the Canadian border, and having relatives in Canada, I've been to Manitoba plenty of times! But somehow, I'd never been east enough in Canada to hit Ontario till this year.

6. Bridal dress shopping! Until 2019, I'd never stepped foot in a bridal shop. Hosanna did end up ordering a dress online, but we enjoyed visiting some bridal shops and trying on some dresses.

7. Ate at Steak N' Shake, and Cracker barrel for the first time.

8. Shopped at Ross's Dress For Less. Thank you Rachel for introducing this store to me!

9. Visited the Terry Redlin art center museum. I wish we'd have had more time! It was really neat.

10. Had my first audio book published! 

11. I tied a camp director up for the first time . . . 

12. I played the game 'Chronology' for the first time.

13. I had someone stand on my shoulders for the first time . . .

14. Crawled through an abandoned airplane.

15. Made my first time-lapse movie.

16. Scrubbed grout for the first time.

17. Planted a strawberry for the first time . . . and many more than one. :) 

18. Made eggnog for the first time.

19. Have my own room for the first time.

And there were many more firsts, but that's all I'm going to share for now. Hopefully, 2020 will have many more firsts. While some years end, and I'd be perfectly happy to re-live them, 2019 was definitely one of those years that I'm glad to have done with. 

   So, what are my plans for 2020? Well, many of them are still up in the air, but I can tell you that a new book is coming soon. I'm scheduled to attend the ND Homeschool convention, and I'm hoping to have my new book released by then. A post about that book will be coming soon . . . 

     So, what new things did you do in 2019? 

Snacks From Around the World

For Christmas, I was given a Yum box of Christmas snacks from around the world!

It's kind of strange thinking of all these foods that we don't eat here in America. Some of them were really great!!! And others . . . I know why they're not popular here!

I didn't get a picture of the full box before I started taking things out, but here's a bunch of the stuff.

This is a Christmas shortbread from the Philippines. 

This was probably my least favorite one so far. It's a gingerbread cookie with black-current frosting. While I love the heart shape, and they're super cute, I'm not a huge fan of the black current and gingerbread mix... I guess I'm not a huge gingerbread fan to start with.

This walnut filled cake from Switzerland reminded me of some of the Christmas cookies my grandma makes.

I lost the paper with the details about each item, but whatever this Japanese cookie is called, it was one of my favorites! It had a hint of caramel, and nuts, giving it a hint of sweet and salty.

I don't remember what country this came from . . . but it was somewhere in the Middle East I think. 

I've still got a few more to try, but overall, they've been awesome! A great experience. And the chocolate. American chocolate isn't the same as European chocolate. It's AMAZING!!

Sisters at Christmas

So, every year for . . . a long time, we've been taking a sister picture sometime at Christmas. Usually, the night of the Christmas program, but sometimes, we'd do the Christmas ladies' tea, or another day around Christmas. I don't have all the pictures . . . and no idea where to find them, but here is a glimpse into the years I have.

This one is 2009, our last Christmas with all four of us girls home.

I think this was 2010.

This is either 2011, or 2012 . . . I'm not sure.

2013

2014

And 1914.

JK! This is actually from our 2014 house party. Our house was built in 1914, and in 2014, we did a 100 years party and did house tours, and served 1914 foods.

2015

2018, our last Christmas with Hosanna home. 

And 2019.

I'm SO thankful for these AWESOME sisters, and all the Christmases we've had together and I look forward to all the ones to come. :)